you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
