what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
