you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
