It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
