Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
