hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
