we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
