I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
