Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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