i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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