Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
