Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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