Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
