there was a trapeze. enough said
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
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