Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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