I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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