I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I can't turn off my feet"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
