Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
