Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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