I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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