Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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