Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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