Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
