So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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