It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
