Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
