Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
