Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
