I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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