I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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