i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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