You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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