yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
