Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
