Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
