I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
