Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We have started to decorate penises.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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