So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
