Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
