dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
