Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
