East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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