I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
