Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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