We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
