Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
