I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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