it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
