Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
