so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
