How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
