You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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