Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
