thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
