Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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