Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
