Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
