well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
